TheUnexpectables Wiki


"Helga once punched dragon in face. Dragon did not appreciate that very much. Helga made lovely necklace out of teeth" ~Helga

Helga is an orc woman and the barkeep for The Sweet Dragon in Alivast. Not much is known about her past history other than she has experience as a bartender and that she claims to be retired from a group known as Sisters of the Battleaxe. It's inferred that she's been employed by other bars due to her indifferent demeanor and her opinion that her interview was the "easiest interview of life."

She has been described as tall, muscular, and actually very attractive for an orc.

Helga previously worked at a bar in Tendelheim but had to abandon it when the town was overrun by fire giants and claimed to have killed one herself during the evacuation. This story was later corroborated by Remy, who spoke of an orc woman that killed a fire giant by snapping it's neck while showing The Unexpectables its 18-foot-tall skeleton in the ruins of Tendelheim.


Helga is a very strong and capable individual and expects the same of the people she works with, taking no nonsense from her employers or her fellow employees. She usually intimidates most people and if they do not back down, Helga has expressed a complete willingness to let her fists do the talking.

She is protective of the younger women around her and is dismissive of men. It is unknown if this is due to a matriarchal mindset or if The Unexpectables simply fail to meet her standards of behavior, though she softens on a couple of members of the group for helping the Inn in one way or another.

Despite her often curt and sour attitude, Helga does express some "motherly" behavior, though usually in a blunt and no-nonsense fashion. She gives very practical advice and observations such as concern over the Unexpectables spending a lot of time adventuring outdoors during the cold Alivastian winter.

She has a bit of melancholy when it comes to the topic of children or love. She has apparently had many children with many different mates. But in the end, most of these couplings were simply for breeding. She has expressed there was one man she liked, but now she is too old for such pursuits.

Helga fan art by @Boo_Rad13y



"Ah, yes I remember. I fought you in fight pit. Thought I was just killing bug."

Helga strongly dislikes Borky. Upon their first encounter she called him a "Cowardly orc man" and generally considers him to be weak. Borky in turn thinks she's the most ugly woman he's ever met and generally tries to ignore her. This suits Helga fine and most of the time the two of them are content to simply ignore each other. Borky challenged her in the fight pit at the summer festival and she defeated him effortlessly. She reminded him of this when he later failed miserably at convincing her to wear a pair of cursed dancing boots.


Helga seems to tolerate Task, but was constantly reminding Task to trim Tarusk's claws due to the marks they leave on the floor. Helga expressed relief when he showed up with the newly groomed drake after his return to Alivast and even pet Tarusk.

After the team returned from their travels with Digsby, Helga showed deep appreciation towards Task because he claimed responsibility for saving Outreach Vineyard. In return, the Sweet Dragon was gifted a barrel of their finest wine, which helped to kickstart a new wave of popularity for the tavern.


Helga and Greckles have little contact with each other, the primary focus for the few conversations has been Solly. Both seem to care for her well being, though they disagree as how best to look after her. During the long winter, Helga confided in Greckles that she's been dealing with the loss of several of her children and that it weighs heavy on her mind.

Panic Grimtongue[]

"Ah yes, man who I am OK with."

Of all The Unexpectables, Helga seems most tolerant of Panic, likely in part to his natural charisma. She performs small favors for him in exchange for other favors later and as stated that she respects him the most of the four primary members of the group... though she qualified this praise by mentioning the competition was hardly difficult.


Helga fan art by @Dark_E_Arts

While Solly was staying at The Sweet Dragon, Helga kept an eye on her. She did not approve of Solly staying in the same room as Greckles, but she was willing to accept it on the condition that Greckles explicitly knew that if he tried anything she would break both his legs.


"Meryl has been carrying weight like... donkey carries... weight."

Helga watches over Meryl and even cashes in a favor to enlist Panic to tutor the girl in spelling. Even though Helga normally lights the candles in the chandeliers in the common room, she sometimes will lift up Meryl to do it because the girl isn't tall enough to reach.


"In this room now, you have most respect... out of men. I like him." [turns to the rest of The Unexpectables] "This is what you should be like."

Helga acknowledged Remy's actions in the evacuation of Tendelheim saying that he was honorable. She seemed to appreciate his recognition of slaying the fire giant and his simple courtesy. Later on, she revealed that he seems to be the only one in the Tavern that isn't a headache for her.

Sisters of the Battleaxe[]

"It was not perfect place... But it was home for a while."

The Sisters of the Battleaxe are a community in a remote area called Blue Back Swamp and mostly consist of orc, ogre, ettin, and some human women. They are not friendly to men of any type. Helga recalled fighting a chimera with two of her sisters and defeating it handily. Helga has stated that it is not appropriate for a man and a woman to sleep in the same room unless she has broken his legs first. She also has said that in the Sisters, the strongest, smartest woman would lead. Her separation from the Sisters of the Battleaxe is an uncomfortable topic for her and she declined talking about it when asked.


According to MontyGlu, Helga had "A LOT" of children during her time with the Sisters of the Battleaxe. Helga has yet to mention this in the game in any fashion. In a separate statement she clarified that this was not a euphemism for squires, pupils, or followers, but "legit had kids". Helga has said that she's lost many of these children as well, and she feels a heavy guilt for it.


  • Helga has a +9 on her unarmed attacks, and was able to reduce Borky to 1 HP in a single round during a pit fight. - note, NPC stats can change over time.
  • She is stated to be a 9th level Monk, and retired Shieldmaiden - note, NPC stats can change over time.
  • Helga sleeps with curlers in her hair and a mud mask on her face.
  • Helga likes to work out in her spare time.
  • Helga has four cats: a black cat, a long haired calico, a puffy faced black and white tom cat, and a skinny brown tabby. They're for catching mice and other pests. According to her they are the best in the city.
  • Helga at this point in her life has hung up the jacket on any sort of relationship, she's an older lady, just wanting to retire.
  • Helga's personality was influenced by one of MontyGlu's professors.
  • Helga occasionally refers to herself in the third person.
  • She does not like cold weather at all.
  • Helga's favorite food is passionfruit jam and jellies.