TheUnexpectables Wiki



Since the disposition of many magic items is in flux, check the individual pages for a character to see what they currently have.

The rainbow potion Ozzy Enrobso created for Panic Grimtongue fanart by @Jessi_Lionheart

Anti-Magic Ring

This ring can be enchanted to nullify a specific spell once. It was the first magic object crafted by Willow and given to Panic as thanks for saving her from being robbed in the lower general district. Panic dropped it into the sea as a tribute to Frivayne because even though it was non-functional, it still had a semi-precious stone in it.

Beads of Hoketh

These glowing orbs were created by Hoketh in ancient times as a way to bind himself to the Material Plane and to act as a conduit for his power and the power of his celestials to channel through. Beads of Hoketh also act as anchor points through which life can flow through the lands. It is possible for the orbs to become corrupted, causing them to channel Necrecta's will instead.

Black Cat of Scrying

This magical statue is in the shape of a cat and made of black onyx. It is magically linked to an amulet in the possession of Lobo Slackjaw, who can speak to the statue's owner over long distances. When receiving a message, the statue will emit an annoying meowing until answered.

Black Cat of Scrying fan art by @tokunerd83

Boots of Speed

When the heels of these boots are clicked together, the user gains a small boost in dexterity. These were stolen from an orc killed by Swoop and his compatriots outside the temple to Oreyara.

Boots of Uncontrollable Dance

A cursed object that will cause the wearer to burst into uncontrollable dance for a few minutes, should they fail a will save. These boots were found by Borky in the underground temple to Orun.

Boots of Uncontrollable Dance fan art by @tokunerd83

The Cabbage

The Cabbage is a magical item The Unexpectables obtained from the den of a two-headed dog they killed. The Cabbage is seemingly indestructible, and whenever anyone said the word lettuce in its presence, it would stay still in the air, not falling or rising up. When Willow tried to identify it, it let out a blast of energy, breaking the glass in the area. It was identified by the wizard Artimus as a heart of the magic god, Nerasmun. Upon the salvaging of The Talon, the airship of the pirate Captain Bladefoot and his crew, the Cabbage was last mentioned being sent to Gnomeria.


This guitar is the form the being known as Ith took after rescuing the party from an awakened Omnimaw, which resulted in the destruction of Panic's previous guitar. This guitar has two abilities. The first is, once per day, the user can summon a discord devil that is not necessarily friendly and can't simply be dismissed at will. The second is, once per day, the user can reroll any check.

Official Catharsis art by @ThatArtJack. The lettering spells out "Catharsis" in infernal script.

Circlet Of Blasting

A gold-colored circlet that casts the Scorching Ray spell when used. It is adorned with red and orange semiprecious gems. Found by Panic in the underground temple to Orun.

Circlet of Blasting.png

Cloak of Elven Kind

A cloak that increases the general stealthiness of the wearer. This cloak was looted off an Orc by Swoop, but handed to Rocca, as Swoop was too short to wear it.

Cloak of the Manta-Ray

When pulled over the head, this cloak allows the wearer to breathe underwater. It was purchased from the Blue Dragon Emporium. Greckles has customized it by lining the inside with hay.

Cloak of the Manta Ray fan art by @TokuNerd83

The Cookcronomicon

A cursed cookbook with the ability to grow and animate confections. When wielded, an obnoxiously chipper and cheery voice will instruct the user to "keep cookin' till the cookin's done". The last wielder of this profoundly evil item was the Gobbo Gourmet, but it was destroyed by Doros by chopping it in half.

Copy Cutter

This magical item takes the form of a light, bladeless sword hilt that looks like it was carved from the bone of some ancient creature. When an attuned wielder is struck by damage from a non-ally, the blade will take a different form depending on the type of damage taken, though it is always a finesse weapon. For example, taking slashing damage will have the hilt transform into a scimitar, and taking acid damage will transform it into an acid spike. It does not respond to self-inflicted damage. Borky found it in a chest hidden in a secret room in the ruined castle west of Fleur de Mort's forest. According to Monty, its ability is based on the Pokémon Kecleon.

Known forms:

  • Slashing: Scimitar
  • Fire: Flame Blade
  • Piercing: Rapier
  • Acid: Acid Spike
  • Vampiric: Giant vampire fang

Copy Cutter Fanart by @TokuNerd83

Crown Devil Crown

This magical horned helmet was made out of the crown-like horns of the Crown Devil. It was made by a tiefling wizard friend of Willow's that specialized in infernal magics. When attuned to this crown, Task has resistance to fire damage and can strike fear into devils weaker than the Crown Devil. The crown also has the ability to control Brimstone Devils. However, it has the unfortunate side effects of allowing the devil whose earthly form was killed in order to make the crown to know where it is at all times and all other Crown Devils to know the crown's location within 100 kilometers.

Task sold this crown to an Alivastian halfling demonologist due to not wanting to put his comrades in harm's way.

Task's official token featuring him wearing the Crown by @BrachyZoid

Crystals of Silence

These crystals were outfitted inside the Unexpectables' bedrooms in the Sweet Dragon. When they detect a loud noise, such as Borky's morning ritual, they keep the sound from spreading past its point of origin and then glow brightly to signal that they are in effect. These objects were created and installed by Willow.

Crystals of Silence fan art by @TokuNerd83

Dragonscale Coat

This knee-length trenchcoat was created by Nine out of the scales of the black dragon Arkgenos. It serves both as fashionable winter attire and functional guard against the bitter cold and acid damage. The inside lining was damaged in the acidic explosion that killed Tyrell, but Panic got it repaired prior to the Winter Festival.

Dragonslayer Arrow

This special arrow deals extra damage against dragons and beings with Draconic Ancestry. It was given to Task by a Metal-mane family Dwarf as a bonus item after performing tuneup on Gnaryel's Bow. It sat in unused in Task's quiver for a long period of time. While traveling with Digsby into the far reaches of Alivast to retrieve a flux orb for the Conjurer's Corner, they found it was in the possession of the black dragon Arkgenos. In a last-ditch effort to secure the orb and save his family colleagues, Task launched the arrow into the dragon's mouth, killing him instantly. The arrow could not be recovered from Arkgenos' carcass.

Drift Globe

A floating orb that can emit light, used as a replacement for torches. It was pocketed from the temple's reliquary for safekeeping, though Swoop was forced to return it afterward.

The Ebony Penguin (Gripples)

When an action is used to place it on the ground, this statuette will transform into a penguin and pursue a single target designated by the user. Upon reaching the target, it has a percentile chance to either activate, dealing massive force damage to the target and its surroundings, or become inert and fail the process. Whether or not it successfully detonates, it will return to its original statuette form, and it cannot be used again until after a period of time. When single-use bird statues have their abilities expended in its presence, Gripples will absorb the statue's energy and increase its chance to successfully detonate by 10%. Gripples originally had a 40% chance of detonation.

It's been debated whether this object may have a consciousness of its own. So far it has only been able to speak to Borky, but it has also shown fear of Lys, and a dislike of Tubbs. It's also possible that Borky may simply be imagining the interactions he has with the object.

This item was previously in the inventory of the Blue Dragon Emporium, although its actual origins are a mystery. It was lost in the ocean attack by The United Clergy of Orun. It was later recovered from a smuggling ring by a group of mercenaries hired by the Unexpectables and eventually given back to Borky.

Gripples fan art by @Dark_E_Arts


Epoch is a bow that is the physical form taken by Aos to aid Task. It is a porcelain bow with an armored gauntlet and armpiece that goes all the way to Task's shoulder. Epoch pulls echoes of arrows Task has shot in the past through time and does not require ammunition otherwise. These arrows are magical constructs and act as magic even if the original ammunition was not. Also, arrows do not possess any of the original magical properties they may have had. All arrows fade back into the timestream after they impact or simply miss. Epoch also grants Task the ability to cast haste on himself or slow on an enemy as per the spell once per day. Epoch also grants Task one reroll of any die per day. It can also be summoned to his hands by magic.

Eternal Quiver

This quiver can hold twice as much ammunition as a normal quiver its size. Found in the treasure chest of Athtar.

Fanny-Pack of Holding

This fanny-pack can hold many items at once, including items larger than itself, within a subspace pocket. It has a limited total capacity, but will never get heavier. This item was recovered by Borky from Raunfalt's hoard of treasure.

Fannypack of Holding fan art by @TokuNerd93

Fey Slicer

An elegant rapier that deals extra damage to fey creatures. This item was given to Panic by Brorc Bronze-Fang as payment for solving the Dullmar incident. The sword was later confiscated, inspected, and snapped in two by Fleur de Mort, causing Panic to lament its special properties never becoming useful. The pieces were thrown at him in a fit of pique by Fleur and currently rest in their scabbard. However, the guard was twisted making the pieces unusable as weapons. Panic kept the broken pieces and eventually gave the fragments to Fluffy along with the gold necessary for materials to reforge the blade.

Flametongue Dagger

A blade that can create flames. It was gained from the corpse of a Wyvern Rider during the White Dragon Attack. Greckles has nicknamed it "Kajikiri."

Folding Boat

A box that can unfold out into a boat. Found in Athtar's tent.

Frigid Bane

This bow is a magical bow of frost used by the Alivast Military. It was gifted to Borky and Remy as the secret prize for winning the Sled race. Borky originally intended to make Task do something silly before giving him the bow, but decided against it due to dire circumstances. When Task speaks the command word "gul" (Draconic for "cold"), the arrow knocked in the bowstring will be transformed into an ice missile. Arrows fired in this state shatter on impact and cannot be recovered.

Note: starting Episode 73 / Podcast 61 Frigid Bane was retconned to be a shortbow.

Frigid Bane fan art by @TokuNerd83

Gloves of Theivery

These gloves allow the wearer hyper-precise control of their hands, allowing them to excel at dexterous feats. They turn invisible when worn. They were purchased by Greckles from Merchant.

Goggles of Night Vision

Special googles that grant dark vision to whoever is wearing them. They were purchased by Greckles from the Blue Dragon Emporium.

Hat of Disguise Self

This hat was crafted from the skin of a changeling. The wearer can cast Disguise Self as a cantrip. It also appears to have polymorphic qualities of its own, as it was a pointy wizard's hat when Greckles found it but has since changed to a style that is in line with his eastern aesthetic. This hat was found on the body of the hag Mirehair after Borky suplexed her to death. The hat was later relinquished to Tiengo by demand of Avryman, who was reportedly infuriated at Greckles' ownership of the item. In exchange, Tiengo gave The Unexpectables the life of Cynthia, who was kidnapped by knights of the Old Eltmur Monarchy who were encroaching on the Underbelly's territory.

Helm of Comprehend Languages

The wearer of this helm is able to understand the meaning of any language they hear as if the spell Comprehend Languages was cast on them. It was found on the remains of the Teethox that was defeated by The Unexpectables and Digsby. Panic objected to keeping the helm, as he believes his ability to cast Comprehend Languages provides value to the group. Despite these protests, Task took ownership of the helm to assist the group in diplomacy. It also has morphic capabilities and is currently identical to the mundane helm purchased for him by Solly. After receiving his new helm, Task lent this one to Zotira at Panic's recommendation as a shortcut to help her communicate with people who can't speak draconic.

Helmet of 1,000 Hearts

This item is a sentient helm, currently known as Luistrog, and previously known as Siduri. It is said to be older than the universe. It is dormant when it is not being worn, but when a humanoid puts it on it displays parasitic behavior, ejecting the soul of its victim and taking control over their body. The helmet has control over the body for 100 years or until its host dies, at which point the helmet becomes dormant again. The helmet is able to remember all languages its hosts have learned, and has advantage on history rolls and grants its host increased mental capacity. However, the helmet is only able to remember the memories of its immediate previous "life", forgetting those before it.

Humming Bird of Scrying

When used, the user can control where it flies and see and hear anything the hummingbird would. However, the user must maintain a T-pose and hold still, or else the effect will end. It was given to the group by Hassrad as collateral to live in their shed. It is currently being held by Task.

The Ivory Seagull of Annoy Person

When placed on the ground, this statuette will transform into a seagull and pursue a target within 100ft designated by the user. It will attack and annoy the target for an hour before disappearing. It was found in the Cave of Dog and is currently being held by Greckles.

Javelin of Lightning

Once a day, this javelin can be imbued with the electric power of a lightning bolt when thrown. It was taken by Borky from the Dragon Cultists after they were defeated. Over the course of their travels, the javelin became one of Borky's go-to weapons and was used to kill many different enemies and Panic. He even gave it the nickname of "Ol' Faithful." However, while fighting a pack of Hellhounds at the Alivast Docks, the javelin missed its target and struck a wall, shattering into shards with an explosion of lightning.

Lightning Javelin fan art by @TokuNerd83

Lightning Trap Wire

These spools of wire are 15 feet in length and have a nail on each end. They can be set as traps that deal lightning damage to their victims. In order to be primed, the two ends of the wire must be attached to 2 points and suspended above the ground. When active, runes appear along the length of the wire, and they activate when broken. They were acquired from the Monster's Culling member Afina and are commonly used in the Eastern Isles. 5 were expended protecting Anna and Thomas from Monster's Culling.

Lightning Trap Wire fan art by @tokunerd83

Lys' Mask

The damaged porcelain mask once worn by Lys. It broke into two pieces after their death at the hands of Stillhavity and were kept by the group as a memento. The pieces seemed at first to no longer hold any power, but after Panic aided and forgave Hellina, cracks in his half of the mask began to seal. At one point, the pieces were removed from their shrine and landed outside through mysterious circumstances. The mask began to further re-seal when Borky comforted Digsby and when Task apologized to Solly. The two pieces are now re-connected, but there was still one crack in its surface. This final crack re-sealed when Greckles approached The Silver King without considering running away. When the party returned to Alivast, the mask's presence caused The Attic to return to its proper position.

Lys' Mask Fan Art by @TokuNerd83

The Marble Bird

This statue belongs to Remy.

Marvelous Pigments

Any object painted with these pigments transforms from a two-dimensional image into a three-dimensional object. However, when being used by Zenrio, his wild magic interfered with the paint's ordinary effect and produced a curious error; whatever he painted retained its two-dimensional form but also became a living, sentient creature. Zenrio was gifted the paints by the dragon Frivayne as an apology for taking his family couch and he used it to create 4 beings; his daughter Frivayne Jr., a cat for Evelina, a facsimile of Oreyara, and Zenis Oki. These drawings expended all the available paint.

Zenrio's paintings of Frivayne Jr., a cat, Oreyara, and Zenis Oki. Official art by @Octopimp

Orb of Direction

This orb belongs to Zenrio and always indicates the direction of true north.

Orbs of Cozy

These bowling ball sized-spheres owned by The Unpredictables emit a warmth that can be used to save off winter cold. Aussir relies heavily on them to not die in the winter weather due to his cold blood. The group has three to share, but they are slowly running out of warmth. The main sphere which was used to charge them was destroyed in an unknown incident.

Orb of Cozy fan art by @TokuNerd83

Orb of Sending

This orb was a gift from the celestial Ma to Panic for meeting and interacting with both him and his sister, To. When interacted with, this orb can cast the Sending spell once per day

Owl-Bear Rug (Waffles)

This Owl-Bear pelt can animate and simulate a living Owl-Bear within a space determined by runic crystals. This item is made of the pelt of an owl-bear defeated by the Unexpectables, which was enchanted by Professor Rumblefungus.

Owl-Bear Rug (Waffles) fan art by @TokuNerd83

Panic's Guitar

A special guitar enchanted with thaumaturgical enhancements that increase its volume and distort its sound. It has been in his inventory since he was first introduced. It has the name "Euphoria Grimtongue" written on it in gold leaf. After Panic woke up Omnimaw, the enormous being crushed the guitar, destroying it

Panic's Guitar fan art by @HargoliphStudio

Pelicans of Duplication

These life-size dire pelican statues can make an identical replica of any non-magical, non-living, non-gold object than can fit into its bill. However, they only work once and cease functioning afterward. One was obtained from the hoard of the dragon Arkgenos and was used to copy bear traps while fortifying defenses against Monster's Culling. The other was found by Pine Cricket the druid after fighting some orcs and has yet to be used.

Pipes of Haunting

When played, these pipes cast Fear on those within its range. They were previously in the inventory of the Blue Dragon Emporium.

Pipes of Haunting Fan Art by @TokuNerd83

Plunger of Wonder

This mysterious plunger was recovered from the Mansion of Lady Corinne and is currently in the possession of Snowflower. When stuck down to the floor and pulled up, a random magical effect occurs, such as switching the location of two individuals or make everybody in the room dance uncontrollably. Nobody in the group is aware what a plunger is and the true extent of its power is unknown.

Plunger of Wonder fan art by @TokuNerd83

Portable Hole

This apparently ordinary handkerchief was discovered in Athtar's chest and was found containing a massive amount of gold and other valuable treasure. Since then, it has largely taken up the role of the Fanny pack of Holding.


The soul of the sky giant King Raunfalt, bound to his sword through the power of spite. Raunfalt has a psychic connection to his wielder, Borky, and is able to communicate with him telepathically. He also grants Borky some of his mastery over the winds in the form of an ability called Western Sky's Howl, which protects him from harm during melee combat.

See the Raunfalt page for more information.

Raunfalt offical art by @jackakaiser.png

Roper Whip

A whip Iggy made for Task from a roper tentacle. It is not magical, but it is very sticky and can be used to drag opponents closer to its wielder.

Roper Whip fan art by @TokuNerd83

Scary Acid Dagger of Stab

A serrated dagger that can secrete corrosive acid once a day. It is crafted from parts salvaged from an Ankheg. It was crafted by Wymark and is the signature, albeit slippery, weapon of Greckles.

Scary Acid Dagger of Stab fan art by @TokuNerd83

Scarf of Disguise Self

A magical scarf Borky purchased from Nine, though it is uncertain how she came to acquire it. It allows the wearer to use the Disguise Self spell at will. Other than for jokes, Borky hasn't ever used it. Greckles used it extensively in Tracadia. Like other shape-altering magic items, changeling skin is an integral component of its manufacture. It was last seen when Borky buried it in a hole in the courtyard of the Sweet Dragon.

Sending Stone

A magical stone used to transmit written messages. Given to Panic by Anna in case she needed to contact him. Panic entrusted it to Tony so that he could keep in contact with her.

Sun Blade

A blade found on an altar in the tent of Athtar. Quite magical and obviously of sacred importance. While it appears to be a full-sized longsword, it feels quite light in the hand, like a much smaller weapon. It glows with a soft radiance and can increase its radiance to about 30ft around itself. Sun Blades hold an important ritual significance for the United Clergy of Orun and Orun worshipers in general, though they are now mass-produced and as a result, much less special. They mostly serve as markers of position within the UCO's ranks.

Sun Blade fan art by @TokuNerd83

Sword of Water Breathing

This greatsword can float on the surface of water and grants its wielder the ability to breathe underwater for a limited amount of time. It was found after Borky and Task defeated a large crustacean with the assistance of Lily and Airivine. After the group defeated Raunfalt and returned to Alivast, Borky traded the sword to the Blue Dragon Emporium in exchange for Gripples. It is presumably still in the shop's inventory.

Sword of Water-Breathing fan art by @tokunerd83

The Time Cleaver

This sword was previously owned by the Goddess Oreyara, but during her battle with the God of Destruction, Gnash, it fell from her plane and down towards Alivast. This sword appears to physically link to its user, melding to their flesh and mimicking their heartbeat. Anything this sword strikes is displaced through spacetime, which could prove devastating outside the time-dilating effect of the Sheath - the special room where it was kept.

The Time Cleaver fan art by @TokuNerd83

Trinket of Continual Flame

This item was crafted for Panic by Willow using the core of a hell hound. When active, it emits a small magical flame that can be used to light other objects.

Trinket of Continual Flame fan art by @TokuNerd83

Tuba Fish

This tuba that Panic got from Zenrio's parents was constantly waterlogged and rather beat up. It is made of a slightly bluish metal. He gave it to Scarlet who discovered that by blowing hard enough she could launch fish out of it. The sheer number of fish, as well as the size of some of them, far outstripped any internal capacity of the tuba proving that it was indeed a magical item. After launching a certain number of fish it needs to recharge overnight.

Scarlet would love the Tuba Fish even if it didn't launch sea creatures because it was a gift from Panic. Fanart by @raphael Alfons

Underwater Trident

Zenrio's parents gave Task this simple rod that forms a trident head when underwater. It has no other properties, but functions as a finesse weapon.

Wand of Cure Light Wounds

This wand casts cure light wounds once a day. Unlike most wands, it has an unlimited number of total uses, barring the recharge time, and will never run dry. This wand was previously owned by Korthrin's wife, stolen by the dragon cult, and stolen again by Panic.

War Mage's Vengeance

This two-handed greatsword has a blade with the appearance of glowing amber, forged from a long-dead war mage's Barchoba familiar. The blade is imbued with the holy power of war celestials, making it an incredibly powerful weapon. However, the weapon can only deal a total of seven strikes before shattering and releasing the Barchoba. Afterward, the familiar will find a new mage to attune to. Should its master die before the Barchoba, it will turn into a new weapon with the form decided by the mage, beginning the cycle anew. Borky used the final strike on the Somalisk sent by Mel, shattering the blade and freeing the Barchoba inside. It has since chosen Willow as its next master. She named it Bright, as suggested by Borky.

War Mages Vengance official art by @ThatArtJack

Weird Clock

A strange clock made by the Clergy of Oreyara. Its effects are unknown. It was taken from the Reliquary for safekeeping.

Whistle of the Scale Guard

A blue, crystalline whistle that was used to summon and control Tarusk the Blue Drake. It was recovered from the leader of a dragon cult that invaded Dragon's Take. Due to the nature of Guard Drakes, Tarusk responded to any command given to him when the whistle was blown, but only because he was mentally forced to. During the ball, The Silver King performed a ritual to free Tarusk from his chains, destroying the whistle and sealing the reborn Tarusk inside an egg.

Whistle of the Scale Guard fan art by @TokuNerd83

Wind Fan

When opened, this fan generates a wall of strong wind. This particular fan was previously owned by Yukiko but found itself in the ownership of Artimus. Brorc Bronze-Fang purchased it at auction so he could give it to Greckles as payment for solving the Dullmar incident.

Wind Fan fan art by @TokuNerd83

Zenis Oki

This fat, heavy, pink pigeon was created by Zenrio with the Marvelous Pigments as a combination of two requests; one from Borky to see a painting of Tubbs and one from Ios to send a parting gift to the Unexpectables. Zenrio painted the pigeon with a sign around its neck reading "Zen is ok!" which was mistaken for a nametag, leading to its moniker of Zenis Oki. As a magical item, Zenis seems to have few properties aside from being incredibly slow and exceptionally heavy; weighing in at 60 pounds despite being two dimensional and made of paint. He has been left outside the Sweet Dragon as a Spiritual Guardian.

Zenis Oki official art by @Octopimp